There are certain unwritten rules of life. Observe them, 
and one rises above the great unwashed. Observe them not, and one goes straight to trailer trash.
In the hilarious civil guide, The Universal Code of (Formerly) Unwritten Rules by Quentin Parker, you’ll learn all of the principles of politesse our mothers tried to teach us–but some of us just weren’t listening. So listen up, because our mothers were right: Handsome is as handsome does. If you never really understood what that meant–and who did?–then this book is for you.
For a little head start, here are the Top 10 Formerly Unwritten Rules that all shall abide by:
Top 10 Rules:
Unwritten Rule #41- One should never take the last doughnut in the box.
Unwritten Rule #64- One should never sing or whistle at work, despite Walt Disney’s suggestion to the contrary.
Unwritten Rule #80- A gentleman should shower or bathe each day.
Unwritten Rule #103- A gentleman should never eschew the “thug” look and thuggish behavior.
Unwritten Rule #122- A lady should never use crocodile tears as a form of manipulation.
Unwritten Rule #140- A lady should never use sex as a weapon.
Unwritten Rule # 157- One should keep one’s mouth shut during a movie unless one sees that a fire has broken out in the theater.
Unwritten Rule #164- One should always throw away a box once it is empty of food, rather than “trick” family members into thinking there are actually a few more Twinkies, cookies, etc.
Unwritten Rule #185- One should never write an entire e-mail in all capital letters.
Unwritten Rule #250- One should never speak to the television as though people on screen can hear one.
If you currently violate any of these, you are in desperate need of The Universal Code of (Formerly) Unwritten Rules – STAT! Especially the one about taking the last doughnut, absolutely deplorable.
Check out this book here at the Adams Media Store online so you can learn to behave yourself!
- Victoria Clancy
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