In case you’ve been living under a crack rock (baddum bum!) and haven’t noticed, Charlie Sheen is all up in the news, ranting about drugs and alcoholism, his deadly partying habits, being fired from his CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men, and just being a whole bunch of crazy. Which is great timing for our new book, The Quotable Drunkard: Words of Wit, Wisdom and Philosophy from the Bottom of the Glass, where we’ve got inebriated awesomeness spouting from the mouths of characters like Colonel Tigh from Battlestar Galactica, Homer Simpson, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Shakespeare.
Unfortunately, we didn’t get a chance to add Sheen to the collection…but how about a few of our favorites, for your reading pleasure? (and don’t forget to check out the ‘Charlie Sheen quotes adorable bunny meme‘ – so fluffeh!)
Most Awesome Charlies Sheen Quotes
“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body”
“Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”
“Sorry my life is so much more bitchin’ than yours. I planned it that way.”
“Dying is for amateurs.”
“I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro.”
“I got tiger blood, man. My brain….fires in a way that is — I don’t know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.”
“I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself… It’s the work of sissies. The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.”
I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.
“Winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry man, didn’t make the rules.”
Oh, and there’s this, which I made just for you:
- – -